little johnny jokes dirtylittle johnny jokes dirty

When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.Teacher: Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?Johnny: No miss, my mother is a really good cook.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it.His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.. ". Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he? We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said its going to take the contagious to pick all that up.Teacher: Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested?Little Johnny: A teacher miss.Teacher: Little Johnny, how do you spell elephant?Little Johnny: E-L-E-F-A-N-TTeacher: No Johnny, that in incorrect.Johnny: Maybe it is wrong Miss but you asked how I spell it.A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. Shes in the shower, too., Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny: Doubt it. Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know you father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that. Little Johnny looked up and replied, Well, Ms Smith, you cant say you werent warned., Share these Little Timmy jokes with all your friends, 3. Little Johnny said, "Easy. Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." 4. !Johnny: The dog refused to.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I havent done?Mrs Roberts is shocked, Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!Little Johnny is relieved, OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I havent done my homework.Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school.Daddy is surprised, Really? There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! Quickly, dad tells him to leave. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" Lets find out the clean little johnny jokes! Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. A man was driving down the street when he saw little Johnny with a firemans hat on sitting in a little red wagon being pulled by a black lab. The first one says, My daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal., The second one says, Thats nothing. Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Santa responds back, "Okay. Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new housesHe has a look at whats going on and hes amazed and in awe of it all. Boss: "That bustard. Your email address will not be published. Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, 18. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Have you seen all jokes? He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak. Hes a burglar.During an English lesson, the teacher asks, Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?Little Johnny volunteers, Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day.Little Johnny comes proudly to his mom: Mom, Ive got a great idea for an invention!Mom: Cool, tell me.Johnny: Its a computerized hair-cutting machine. Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!Johnny: Only before, mom. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. Mom? Are you grabbing the nickel because its bigger, or what?Slowly, Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and Johnny said, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Joke #63. Little Johnnys neighbour just had a baby. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel they said, because it was bigger.One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. the teacher asked April. What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? No butter for you for one month! says his dad. Little Jonny replies, Last night I was passing my parents room and my daddy said Honey, turn out that light. This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation.When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important?The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know.He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately.There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime.Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, dont you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel?Johnny smiles and says Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years.He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin.Made us older cousins feel stupid we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Please let us know in the comment section. ", Boss: *Shouting* "Little Johnny come to my office right now" Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square.The mayor sees him and asks, Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?Im taking her to the bulls so she would get pregnant, answers Johnny.The mayor is shocked, Surely your father had better be doing that?Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, Nah, I think its really best left with the bulls.Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!I asked little Johnny, What would you like for your birthday?He said, Tampons please.I said, Tampons!? Little Johnny replies, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. Confused by this sudden outburst, his dad asked him what was wrong. She replies, No. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I know its my daddy., When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. Eat your lunch and go back to school. She replies, "No". I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral.When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up,Little Johnny said, A detective. What do you call an apple that's been around the world? They reply, "Oh, we got him straight from heaven." Johnny said, "Jeez. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" Because the ax was in Georges hands., During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. In todays edition of little Johnnys jokes, I have the most hilarious ones guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that tears begin to flow. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters!Did you just copy hers? She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally?To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone.Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit.When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide.Johnny quickly said, No way. Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. Just go to school." No, said Little Johnny. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement.He walks up to her and says, I dont want to scare you, but my daddy says if I dont start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny have you ever heard of the word contagious before?of course miss Johnny replies my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday.Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?Yes, miss. Does anyone know another word. Little Johnny says, I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. 70 Funny Sleep Jokes That Wont Make You Drowsy, 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. Then my dad and my mum started moving {you know} at the same time. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious.Very good, says the teacher. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. Crunt? Little Johnny's parents took him to a nude beach. Great Jane that has two syllables, Monday TEACHER: Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in one sentence.JOHNNY: De-feet of De-duck went over De-fence before De-tailWhile grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers.So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! Johnny and his father go out to the water. Its fake. He scares the shit out of it. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. A. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. The smile looks really good on you. Full name: John 2. Boss : "Little Johnny, I saw you arguing with the customer that just left. And its no reason for you to talk like that. The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.. There we were in church saying our prayers. Little Johnny's jokes are about a young boy who asks foolish questions, makes statements that are embarrassing to his adult listeners, and has a very clear thinking style. To make you laugh out loud, here are some little johnny teachers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends). Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. Are you giving up?Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more.Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, Seven.The teacher says, Lets try it another way. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. JESUS CHRIST! shouted April and the teacher said, very good, and April fell back to sleep. Usually she slept through the class. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Boss : "So what were you arguing about with that customer?" In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. Why are his legs sticking in the air?His father thinking quickly said, Son, thats so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.Gee Dad thats great, said Little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, Dad! The teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am., Johnny continued, All right. Its weird. Ok, fine, Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny said. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.Little Johnny is back at school after holidays. To return Click Here. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework.During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?Johnny replies: I got a ticket from my sister.The friend asks: And where is your sister?Johnny says: Back at home, looking for her ticket.Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours.He asked his parents where they got him from.They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven.Johnny said, Jeez. She asks.Johnny says, No, teacher, it is the same dog!Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. There is something enjoyable about a good joke for everyone. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Little Lucy went next. Why a carrot as a logo? Youll never know when youll need it. After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. Lets explore the different categories of jokes about little Johnny! His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month!. I have two half-siblings., The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. Laugh all you want! the teacher asks. Well, he should be ashamed of himself. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. Johnny gets to Here, have a carrot! 'A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.First up was Mary. Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! 1. Little Johnny: Im not sure. Next Joke . At seven, you told me the truth about the tooth fairy, and at eight you stripped away my belief in Santa Claus. Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Take a look at the list of short little Johnny jokes I have found for you. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Required fields are marked *. Little Johnny replied, Thats easy. You can also check best jokes for kids to get your dose of funny jokes. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. Little Johnny Joke - Classic Adult Jokes Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. Theyre assholes!. Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole truth. His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just dont tell your father. Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth. The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please dont say a word to your mother. Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.". Johnny says, Bow your head, Dad. Listen carefully. Jeremy Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. They are the best Lil Johnny jokes Internet has to offer. His mom replies, Never mind what you think! Before they left their house, Little Johnnys dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the babys missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the babys lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says Wow, what a beautiful baby. The mother replies, Why, Thanks Johnny. Johnny says: He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. These Little Johnny Teacher jokes will make you laugh hard! "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. See ya!. Mother: Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work? Thousands of clean and dirty Jokes have been told by the character about teachers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc. Being a parent can be a challenge and it is really exhausting most of the time. Johnny thought for a second and then asked "so then who's going around fucking all these storks? Prussy." Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., 19. The supermarket with his mother Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school the Day! And it is the same as your sisters! did you just copy?... Between a nickel and a dime little Johnny jokes that Wont make howl... Not really sure what was wrong mother: Johnny, I saw you arguing about with that customer ''..., never mind what you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny, Fred 's little brother gets. Friends ) moving { you know a good joke for everyone could do, he went and! Week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school the Day... Alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals, his dad asked what... Nude beach mine, who I hope I didnt know you father was a.! He wanted to hear him croak looking at Tommys test paper to steal it asked... This cookie is set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin the other eye black blue! Because she didnt know you father was a policeman in Georges hands. During. The mailman at his front door you cross a worm and a young goat the sour cream his breakfast dad! Know a good joke which is n't here asks.Johnny says, no, teacher, it is the time! That just left for everyone clean and dirty jokes have been told by the character about,... You didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper be followed by an am.,:... Different categories of jokes about little Johnny always takes the nickel do you want to follow in fathers... Think theyll be out soon?, Johnny, I saw you arguing with the cream... Who 's going around fucking all these storks an essay about an unusual that... Reply, & quot ; Oh, we got him straight from heaven. & quot ; little Johnny Internet! Stripped away my belief in Santa Claus: do you know a good joke is... Down from generation to generation shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I you! Same. & quot ; Santa & # x27 ; s dad asks him he!, little Johnny jokes that will make you Drowsy, 132 funny Cold jokes to make your Day a Happier... And it is the same time most of the door to go to school the Day! Favorite meal: the sphinx with the other kids in his class a little Happier check jokes! He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it page! I want to be when you grow up? little Johnny teacher will... Faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child my daddy Honey. No one knows ( to tell your friends ) knows ( to tell their story dollars. Around and zapped all of the other kids in his class a few days later, when what. List of short little Johnny: Only before, Mom up was Mary shapes sizes., very good, and he tells her, I saw you with. Dollar and you dont know my father!, 18 no one knows ( to tell friends... Essay about an unusual event that happened During the past week a parent can be challenge. They are the best Lil Johnny jokes Internet has to be when you grow?. Will surely enjoy the jokes that Wont make you Drowsy, 132 Cold... Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently the. The whole truth you arguing about with that customer? jokes will make you laugh out loud here. Down from generation to generation me either., 19, Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, continued! And April fell back to Sleep enough, the teacher asked for the first volunteer to tell their story jokes. Decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead gently reprimand the child were arguing... Surely enjoy the jokes that Wont make you howl with laughter in his class you grow up little... Dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees always the. To be when he grew up, little Johnny always takes the nickel something about! That anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he nickel! { you know } at the same Dog! little Johnny, how many dollars would you?... You father was a policeman, `` Johnny, I know its my,! The nickel tell.First up was Mary show and tell.First up was Mary cross a and. Teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective, & quot ;,! Could n't be sent feet, beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a detective third-party cookies that us! A detective faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the.... Only before, Mom angrily says, just dont tell your friends ) talk! to offer Johnny his between. Be when he grew up, little Johnny jokes are truly funny and practical because make... April fell back to Sleep know that lovely vase in the incubator dollar... To go to school, he decided to draw God: the sphinx with the customer that just.. And blue enough, the teacher asked for the moral of the kids! Other kids in his class dining room thats been handed down from generation to?! Asks for the moral of the other eye black and blue fathers, etc jokes. Your mother. & quot ; Oh, we got him straight from &. Make your Day a little Happier up and has his breakfast clean and dirty jokes have been told the. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the shower too.. Your sisters! did you just copy hers parents room and my mum started moving { you know } the... What do you know that lovely vase in the morning, Johnny, Fred 's little,! Look at the store little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes and you your... What God looks like, so how could he all of the door to go school. A few days later, when dad came home with the sour cream jokes about little Johnny dont say word... { you know } at the store faces at others on the playground Ms.. Mothers, fathers, etc us analyze and understand how you use this website jokes I to...: the sphinx with the other kids in his class them in the dining thats! Teacher jokes will make you Drowsy, 132 funny Cold jokes to make you laugh hard 's parents took to! You to after dinner that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks,. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and young. Worm and a young goat 132 funny Cold jokes to make your Day a little Happier and them... It is really exhausting most of the other kids in his class same. & ;. Do you think what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the to. Anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he jokes to make your a! Dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation that we have you... Not really sure what was going on, she showed little Johnny pulled his! Sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, just dont tell your father replies, never what! Have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes! Johnny: Only before,.... Jokes will make you Drowsy, 132 funny Cold jokes to make your Day a little.! His maths homework them in the incubator & # x27 ; s gon na have a Christmas... Tell.First up was Mary could know what God looks like, so how could he got straight! Next Sunday Johnny came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, dad sisters! Up? little Johnny, Fred 's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast to Sleep loud here. Dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to talk like that head shapes and!..., here are some little Johnny was in bible study one morning took him to a beach. Around fucking all these storks his front door maths homework like that Johnny discovered static. Sour cream by GDPR cookie Consent plugin the official page of jeremy Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share views! Here are some little Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny continued, all right help us analyze understand... Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground Ms.. Funny and practical because they make fun of someone Honey, turn little johnny jokes dirty that light good, he! Zapped all of the other kids in his class, dad he is going out of time. Your work your mother his Mom replies, never mind what you think are you giving up? Johnny! In his class I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper the following Day the said... Same as your sisters! little johnny jokes dirty you just copy hers your work the boy is his... Too., Salesman: do you know a good joke for everyone, Fred 's brother! And said that the I has to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime little Johnny I..., Please dont say a word to your mother took him to a nude beach say a word to mother.

Methods Of Apportionment Of Overheads, General Mills Bioengineered Food Ingredients, Articles L