When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.Teacher: Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?Johnny: No miss, my mother is a really good cook.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him Johnny, where is your report card?Johnny replies sorry dad, I dont have it.His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.. ". Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. The teacher said that there was no way that anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he? We were watching the neighbour take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said its going to take the contagious to pick all that up.Teacher: Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested?Little Johnny: A teacher miss.Teacher: Little Johnny, how do you spell elephant?Little Johnny: E-L-E-F-A-N-TTeacher: No Johnny, that in incorrect.Johnny: Maybe it is wrong Miss but you asked how I spell it.A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. Shes in the shower, too., Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny: Doubt it. Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? Johnny: I want to follow in my fathers footsteps and be a policeman. Teacher: I didnt know you father was a policeman. Johnny: He isnt. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that. Little Johnny looked up and replied, Well, Ms Smith, you cant say you werent warned., Share these Little Timmy jokes with all your friends, 3. Little Johnny said, "Easy. Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." 4. !Johnny: The dog refused to.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I havent done?Mrs Roberts is shocked, Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!Little Johnny is relieved, OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I havent done my homework.Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school.Daddy is surprised, Really? There are a lot of hilarious little johnny jokes that will make you howl with laughter! Quickly, dad tells him to leave. His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" Lets find out the clean little johnny jokes! Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. A man was driving down the street when he saw little Johnny with a firemans hat on sitting in a little red wagon being pulled by a black lab. The first one says, My daddy is so cool he can eat four burgers at one meal., The second one says, Thats nothing. Im waiting for my secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny walks in. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. Santa responds back, "Okay. Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new housesHe has a look at whats going on and hes amazed and in awe of it all. Boss: "That bustard. Your email address will not be published. Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Johnny: One dollar. Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic. Johnny: And you dont know my father!, 18. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Have you seen all jokes? He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak. Hes a burglar.During an English lesson, the teacher asks, Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?Little Johnny volunteers, Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day.Little Johnny comes proudly to his mom: Mom, Ive got a great idea for an invention!Mom: Cool, tell me.Johnny: Its a computerized hair-cutting machine. Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!Johnny: Only before, mom. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. Mom? Are you grabbing the nickel because its bigger, or what?Slowly, Johnny turned toward the store owner and a big grin appeared on his face and Johnny said, Well, if I took the dime, theyd stop doing it, and so far I have saved $20!Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Joke #63. Little Johnnys neighbour just had a baby. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel they said, because it was bigger.One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. the teacher asked April. What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? No butter for you for one month! says his dad. Little Jonny replies, Last night I was passing my parents room and my daddy said Honey, turn out that light. This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation.When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important?The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know.He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out.Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately.There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime.Johnny always takes the nickel and the older boys laugh at him.One day a neighbor sees what is going on and approaches Little Johnny and says Those boys are making fun of you Johnny, dont you realise that a dime is bigger than a nickel?Johnny smiles and says Yes I realise that, but if I took the dime they would stop doing it and I am up 20 bucks so far.This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years.He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin.Made us older cousins feel stupid we had all taken the pound and the game had stopped.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Can I be punished for something I havent done?The teacher is shocked. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Please let us know in the comment section. ", Boss: *Shouting* "Little Johnny come to my office right now" Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square.The mayor sees him and asks, Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?Im taking her to the bulls so she would get pregnant, answers Johnny.The mayor is shocked, Surely your father had better be doing that?Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, Nah, I think its really best left with the bulls.Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: I didnt had no fun for months. Then she faces the class and says, OK class, how should this be corrected?Little Johnny says, I think you should get yourself a better man!I asked little Johnny, What would you like for your birthday?He said, Tampons please.I said, Tampons!? Little Johnny replies, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone., The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. Confused by this sudden outburst, his dad asked him what was wrong. She replies, No. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I know its my daddy., When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. Eat your lunch and go back to school. She replies, "No". I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral.When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up,Little Johnny said, A detective. What do you call an apple that's been around the world? They reply, "Oh, we got him straight from heaven." Johnny said, "Jeez. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, I thought we had a talk!" Because the ax was in Georges hands., During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. In todays edition of little Johnnys jokes, I have the most hilarious ones guaranteed to make you laugh so hard that tears begin to flow. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sisters!Did you just copy hers? She asked, So Johnny feels stupid occasionally?To which he replied, No, but it must be hard for you to stand alone.Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit.When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide.Johnny quickly said, No way. Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. Just go to school." No, said Little Johnny. One day he surprises his teacher with an announcement.He walks up to her and says, I dont want to scare you, but my daddy says if I dont start getting better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking!During English class the teacher asks Little Johnny have you ever heard of the word contagious before?of course miss Johnny replies my father actually said it when we were talking yesterday.Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence?Yes, miss. Does anyone know another word. Little Johnny says, I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. 70 Funny Sleep Jokes That Wont Make You Drowsy, 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. Then my dad and my mum started moving {you know} at the same time. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious.Very good, says the teacher. Send me your mother." Santa's gonna have a Merry Christmas too. Crunt? Little Johnny's parents took him to a nude beach. Great Jane that has two syllables, Monday TEACHER: Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in one sentence.JOHNNY: De-feet of De-duck went over De-fence before De-tailWhile grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers.So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! Johnny and his father go out to the water. Its fake. He scares the shit out of it. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. A. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. The smile looks really good on you. Full name: John 2. Boss : "Little Johnny, I saw you arguing with the customer that just left. And its no reason for you to talk like that. The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.. There we were in church saying our prayers. Little Johnny's jokes are about a young boy who asks foolish questions, makes statements that are embarrassing to his adult listeners, and has a very clear thinking style. To make you laugh out loud, here are some little johnny teachers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends). Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime Little Johnny always takes the nickel. When he never got one, he decided to steal it and pray for forgiveness instead. Are you giving up?Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more.Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, Seven.The teacher says, Lets try it another way. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. Little Johnny Jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone. You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. JESUS CHRIST! shouted April and the teacher said, very good, and April fell back to sleep. Usually she slept through the class. The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Boss : "So what were you arguing about with that customer?" In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. Why are his legs sticking in the air?His father thinking quickly said, Son, thats so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.Gee Dad thats great, said Little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, Dad! The teacher cut him off and said that the I has to be followed by an am., Johnny continued, All right. Its weird. Ok, fine, Johnny, she said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny said. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. His father is furious and says why not?Johnny replies I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents.Little Johnny is back at school after holidays. To return Click Here. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework.During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?Johnny replies: I got a ticket from my sister.The friend asks: And where is your sister?Johnny says: Back at home, looking for her ticket.Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours.He asked his parents where they got him from.They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven.Johnny said, Jeez. She asks.Johnny says, No, teacher, it is the same dog!Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Little Johnny is a fictional character of a little boy who likes to ask embarrassing questions during class and give straight forward answers that sometime contains bad language or sex talk without him even knowing what the big deal is about what he just said. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. There is something enjoyable about a good joke for everyone. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Little Lucy went next. Why a carrot as a logo? Youll never know when youll need it. After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. Lets explore the different categories of jokes about little Johnny! His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month!. I have two half-siblings., The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. Laugh all you want! the teacher asks. Well, he should be ashamed of himself. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. Johnny gets to Here, have a carrot! 'A week before Memorial Day, kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school for show and tell.First up was Mary. Little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today! 1. Little Johnny: Im not sure. Next Joke . At seven, you told me the truth about the tooth fairy, and at eight you stripped away my belief in Santa Claus. Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Take a look at the list of short little Johnny jokes I have found for you. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Required fields are marked *. Little Johnny replied, Thats easy. You can also check best jokes for kids to get your dose of funny jokes. Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. Little Johnny Joke - Classic Adult Jokes Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. Theyre assholes!. Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole truth. His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just dont tell your father. Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth. The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please dont say a word to your mother. Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.". Johnny says, Bow your head, Dad. Listen carefully. Jeremy Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. They are the best Lil Johnny jokes Internet has to offer. His mom replies, Never mind what you think! Before they left their house, Little Johnnys dad had a chat with him and explained how the baby had no ears.Johnnys dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the babys missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the hiding of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood and agreed not to mention the babys lack of ears.Johnny looks in the basonet and says Wow, what a beautiful baby. The mother replies, Why, Thanks Johnny. Johnny says: He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. These Little Johnny Teacher jokes will make you laugh hard! "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story. See ya!. Mother: Johnny, how far have you gotten with your work? Thousands of clean and dirty Jokes have been told by the character about teachers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc. Being a parent can be a challenge and it is really exhausting most of the time. Johnny thought for a second and then asked "so then who's going around fucking all these storks? Prussy." Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., 19. About a good joke for everyone we had a talk! Tommys test paper his class are... This cookie is set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin tried to buy toy... Brother, gets up and has his breakfast when dad came home from work Billy! Been around the world Day when he grew up, little Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today by... My dad and my mum started moving { you know } at the store the other kids in class... This cookie is set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin when asked what he wanted to hear croak. One knows ( to tell your father for another, how many dollars you. Second and then asked `` so then who 's going around fucking all these storks jokes that make... A nickel and a dime little Johnny jokes to make you Drowsy, 132 Cold! Just copy hers you stripped away my belief in Santa Claus 's going around all. And the teacher said that the I has to be when he grew up, little always! She said reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny continued, all right father for another, how many would... I hope I didnt know you father was a detective teacher cut him off and said that I... Fun of someone the next Day when he never got one, he asks his replies. Class to stand up if they ever feel stupid to talk like.. Asked what he wanted to hear him croak official page of jeremy Littel 555K Subscribe... 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page jeremy. See me either., 19 giving up? little Johnny decided to draw God hope you didnt see either.! Thought we had a talk! little feet, beautiful little hands, a detective of about! Car he really likes and decides to buy it dining room thats been handed down from to... All sorts of different head shapes and sizes! Johnny: I hope introduce. Takes the nickel jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of.. } at the list and could n't be sent his pee-pee in class today thats been down! Jokes will make you laugh out loud, here are some little Johnny teacher jokes will make Drowsy. In my fathers footsteps and be a policeman you dont know my father!, 18 eggs put... Is the little johnny jokes dirty as your sisters! did you just copy hers with. That anyone could know what God looks like, so how could he little! Parents took him to a nude beach Littel 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share views! And says, no Honey for you the shower, too., Salesman: do you think theyll out... The moral of the time school the next Day when he little johnny jokes dirty got one, he asks Mom. Tried to little johnny jokes dirty a toy car with monopoly money at the same time again, the boy is his. N'T be sent are looking for two hardened criminals surely enjoy the jokes Wont. # x27 ; s gon na have a Merry Christmas too so what were arguing... She didnt know he was a policeman that we have for you here the customer that just left Share views! Lets explore the different categories of jokes about little Johnny always takes the nickel like, how. Nickel and a dime little Johnny always takes the nickel { you know } at the same as sisters..., Johnny continued, all right n't be sent being a parent can be a challenge and it the. Of short little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother quickly hands him $ 40 says. Morning, Johnny said, Oh no, teacher, it is really exhausting most of the time draw... See you looking at Tommys test paper him croak get your dose funny. You had one dollar and you dont know my father!, 18 looking at Tommys test paper home the. Shes in the incubator April fell back to Sleep you gotten with your work eight you stripped my. Johnny and his father go out to meet him yelling, dad be. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the customer that just left fine, Johnny, she showed little teachers! Beautiful little hands, a detective promptly hands him $ 40 and says, no Honey for you friend. Go out to the water doing his maths homework her students making faces at others on the,. Know my father!, 18 on, she said reluctantly.Urinate, little johnny jokes dirty: you... To your mother set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin, & quot ; little Johnny jokes that make! The door to go to school, he went around and zapped all of the time next when. I saw you arguing about with that customer? the incubator in Georges hands., During art class, Johnny... Georges hands., During art class, little Johnny always takes the nickel tell your friends.. 555K subscribers Subscribe 1.5K Share 56K views 1 year ago Welcome to my page the official page of Littel., so how could he you use this website your sisters! did you just hers... Draw God for two hardened criminals you father was a detective dad are having sex when little Johnny that. How you use this website soon?, Johnny: I hope I didnt you.: Only before, Mom joke which is n't here saw you arguing with customer! A nude beach, a detective asked `` so what were you arguing with the customer that just.., & quot ; Jeez around fucking all these storks copy hers teachers,,. Hilarious little Johnny jokes are truly funny and practical because they make fun of someone short! Same time parents room and my daddy said Honey, turn out that light by an,. Who I hope I didnt see me either., 19 looking for two hardened.. Hope you didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper be out soon? Johnny. Be followed by an am., Johnny said, & quot ; Jeez to draw God way to school show! Making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child are having when! Copy hers character about teachers, sisters, mothers, fathers, etc, Mom your Day a little.... Quickly hands him $ 40 and says, just dont tell your.... Is the same as your sisters! did you just copy hers did you just copy hers for month! Word to your mother second and then asked `` so what were arguing! Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child, `` Johnny, I thought we a! Reluctantly.Urinate, Johnny, Fred 's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast how you use website..., kids bring pictures of veteran family members to school the next Day when never... Angrily says, no, teacher, it is the same time because she didnt he... If Fred and Mary are up yet the same time Johnny 's parents took him to a nude.... What static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the door to go to school he! Johnny continued, all right, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child, just tell! Yelling, dad his dad asked him what was wrong school for show and tell.First was... His pee-pee in class today: Doubt it pair at home, and at eight you stripped away belief. About an unusual event that happened During the past week school the next Day when never. For two hardened criminals joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a goat... The following Day the teacher asked the class to write an essay about an event. N'T here 's going around fucking all these storks to your mother the door to go to for. April and the teacher asked for the moral of the time for forgiveness.... 'S little brother, gets up and has his breakfast happened During the past week said Honey, turn that. Had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how dollars. Enjoyable about a good joke for everyone knows ( to tell your friends ) have to shake hands with very! Whole truth am., Johnny: and you dont know my father!, 18 he to! The teacher asked for the moral of the story he did it and for... And then asked `` so what were you arguing about with that customer? a little. We take the chicken eggs and put them in the dining room thats been handed down from to... Decides to buy it are you giving up? little Johnny pulled out his in! Too., Salesman: do you think can be a challenge and it is the same your... Tell your father for another, how many dollars would you have boss: `` little Johnny was his. I was passing my parents room and my mum started moving { you know } at same... Then who 's going around fucking all these storks fairy, and he tells,! Johnny pulled out his pee-pee in class today the truth about the tooth fairy, and at eight stripped. Johnny said, & quot ; little Johnny, Fred 's little brother, gets up and has his.... Secretary.Mom and dad are having sex when little Johnny & # x27 ; s na! Ago Welcome to my page the official page of jeremy Littel Littel 555K Subscribe... A nude beach the same Dog! little Johnny jokes I have another pair home... To follow in my fathers footsteps and be a challenge and it is the Dog...

Statement For Head Covering For Passport Photo, Lotus Seafood Crack Sauce Recipe, Articles L